Sunday, December 19, 2010

It Was One of Those Days!

I had a really bad day yesterday. My parents and I went to a wedding for a girl and guy I went to high school with. I couldn't make Matthew go with me, even though he had nothing better to do! And as much as I wanted to go to the wedding, I really didn't want to go.

Over the last few months I have slowly separated myself from all of those "friends" I used to have. After the year of planning my wedding and none of them being there for me to talk to or help me or anything, I decided it was time to just stop allowing myself to be close to them since they continuously let me down. I struggled with making that decision, but I knew that it was the right one. It was easy to be okay with it when nothing really changes. They didn't call me before and they don't call me now. I didn't hang out with them before and I don't hang out with them now. A few of them don't live here anymore and the ones that do are consumed in their own things.

But seeing all of those people in one place, enjoying themselves, laughing and talking with each other, I just couldn't handle it. I know that it's wrong to be jealous of other people, but I am jealous of their friendships. Do you know what it feels like to not have any friends? I mean, I have my husband, but it's different. And he has his own friends. So I just feel kind of lonely. I don't know how to fix it other than finding new friends. That's something I haven't done since elementary school!

I went to the wedding and the reception. But I called Matthew to come get me, so I left before the couple ever got there. I cried off and on most of the afternoon and into the evening. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy. I felt like the biggest loser on earth. I don't think I'm weird or annoying or anything like that at all. So what's my problem? Why can't I have a friend? I just want one!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Just 6 Short Months Ago...

I can't believe that Sunday made 6 months Matthew and I have been married! Where did time go? We've done so many things, and on the other hand I feel like we haven't done much of anything. If 6 months went by this fast, how fast will the rest of my life go by? Although we've had our fights, I wouldn't change any of it! We've had a lot of fun and I can't wait to see what's happening next!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 12

Something you never get compliments on.

Hmm.. I used to get compliments all the time on my clothes and how I dressed. Since I gained all of this weight, I have definitely gotten slack on taking the time to dress nicely. I don't accessorize. I don't care if my clothes even match. I just wake up and rush to get ready so that I won't be late for work. I haven't cared in a long time. I think not taking the time to care and not getting the compliments I was used to getting have affected my self esteem. I've kind of gotten in this vicious cycle of I don't care what I'm wearing, nobody else cares what I'm wearing, if they cared they would compliment me, if they complimented me I would dress nicely, but I don't dress nicely because nobody cares. Hopefully I can start getting some of this weight off of me so I can start wearing my nice clothes again instead of just whatever I can find in my size.

12 Days of Christmas - Day 14

Oprah's Favorite Things: What item(s) would you want if you were in the audience?

Whoa, she has a huge list of favorite things! And I'm not being greedy here, I'm just saying IF I were in the audience I would be super excited to have the following:

  • Baker's Edge Lasagna Pan - Not that I make lasagna or anything, but I may want to someday!
  • Baker's Edge Brownie Pan - I love brownies!
  • Beecher's "World Best" Mac'n'Cheese - But I love macaroni and cheese more!!!
  • Centerville Pie Company's Chicken Pie - I don't know what chicken pie, but it sounds good!
  • Elfa Customizable Closet System from the Container Store - I would die if I had a customized closet!!! I love organization products, so this would be awesome!
  • Five Year Netflix Membership - I would get rid of cable if I had free netflix!
  • Le Creuset Cookware - I just love the colors of this stuff!
  • Miracle Body Jeans by Miraclesuit - I don't know what these are, but if it miracle and body are both describing the same piece of clothing, then they are definitely for me!
  • Nikon D3100 Digital SLR Camera - I don't take a lot of pictures, but I would if I had one of these!
  • Royal Caribbean Allure of the Seas Cruise - I have never been on a cruise, so if someone gave me a trip for free, heck yeah I'd be on my way!
  • Sony BRAVIA LX900 HDTV with 3D - There's nothing wrong with a girl loving a nice television more than any man ever could!

12 Days of Christmas - Day 13

Favorite Cookie Recipe

I don't have a favorite cookie recipe because growing up my mom definitely took the easy way out of baking. She's admitted that she's a terrible baker, so slice and bake Pillsbury cookies it was! But I have not found one cookie that tastes better than a Pillsbury sugar cookie with a perfect reindeer, snowman, or santa on the front (and back) of every cookie! Yummmmm!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

12 Days of Christmas - Day 12

Show Us Your Decorations (Indoors and Outdoors)

I have finished the mantel, and that's about it! Actually none of our lights are working, so we are going to buy all new ones when Matthew gets off work! I will update with pictures as soon as we are done!

30 Days of Truth - Day 11

Something people seem to compliment me the most on...

My hair! I am probably one of the laziest people when it comes to my hair. I have to wash my hair every morning before leaving the house. I shampoo and condition it every single day, which most hair stylists will tell you not to do. I do not towel dry or blow dry my hair. I do not brush my hair. I don't even own a brush. I simply comb through my hair with a wide-toothed comb. And then I let my hair air dry. It just dries into these curls, not kinky and frizzy, but not just wavy either. But no matter what I do, the curls do not go away! I have straigtened my hair before. It takes forever because my hair is so thick, and then within an hour, the curls are back. So it's kind of pointless to even try to straighten it! But I always get so many compliments on my hair because of how thick it is and how naturally curly it is. I don't really care so much about it. I used to hate it when I wanted it to be straight like everyone else's hair, but it is what it is. And I'm finally okay with it! Because it takes no effort!

30 Days of Truth - Day 10

I just realized that I am a couple of weeks behind on the 30 Days of Truth! So here is day 10, a couple of weeks late!

Someone I need to let go, or wish I didn't know...

I don't really have anyone in my life right now that I need to let go. I have already let go of those people. I don't wish that I didn't know them, because knowing them has made my life what it is. I am just glad to say there is now that separation between me and them.

Saturday, December 4, 2010


Seriously! It's snowing here and it's only December 4! This may be the earliest I've ever seen it snow! And if it sticks, I'll be even more excited! I just wish Matthew wasn't at work so we could finish our Christmas decorating while it snows!

12 Days of Christmas - Day 11

New Year Resolutions

I always have new year resolutions, and I never follow through with them. Sad, huh? But this year will be different! I always say that, too!
  • Exercise at least 4 times a week
  • Begin eating a healthier diet
  • Clean my house more often and more thoroughly. (It's not disgustingly dirty or anything, I just need to be more motivated to keep it up.)
  • Finish one degree in May! And get closer to finishing the second degree!
  • Keep track of my spending, use more coupons, and stick to my budget!
  • Become a better wife, friend, daughter, granddaughter, etc.

12 Days of Christmas - Day 10

Favorite Christmas Songs/Caroles

My favorite Christmas song comes from How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carrey. I just love when Cindy Lou Who sings "Where Are You Christmas"! When I hear that song, I am instantly in the Christmas spirit.

Matthew says his favorite songs are "Silent Night" and "Deck the Halls". He's so traditional ha!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

12 Days of Christmas - Day 9

Favorite Holiday Recipe

Here are some of my favorite snacks my mom always makes for Christmas!

Orange Blossoms

Prepare 1 box of yellow cake mix as directed on box. Cook in small mini muffin pans at 350 degrees. After they have cooked and slightly cooled, mix 2/3 cups orange juice, 1 box confectioner sugar, and 6 tablespoons of lemon juic then dip the muffins in the mixture.

Crackers Deluxe

Place saltines on a cookie sheet in a single layer (I recommend covering the entire cookie sheet). Baste the crackers with 1/4 lb. of melted butter. Top the crackers with shredded cheddar cheese. You should not be able to see much cracker surface. Sprinkle with cayenne pepper. Place in a 150 degree oven for 8 hours. My mom usually does this overnight.

Sausage Balls

1 lb. sausage
10 oz. shredded cheese (usually sharp cheddar)
2 1/2 cups Bisquick
1 teaspoon paprika

Mix together room temperature sausage and cheese. Add Bisquick and paprika and mix well. Form into small balls and bake at 350 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes. My mom usually doubles the recipe and uses a package of hot sausage and a package of mild.

12 Days of Christmas - Day 8

Least Favorite Thing About the Holidays

My least favorite thing about the holidays is that my PaPa isn't here to share it with me! I miss him very much and it always makes me sad around the holidays. I miss his prayers before the holiday meals. I miss how he loved every gift he got, even if he had picked it out himself. I miss his laugh. I miss his distinct smell. And I miss how excited I was for Christmas and spending the day at my grandparents'.

And another least favorite thing about the holidays is that I only get one day off work! I sure miss when I was in schooll and got two or three weeks off!

12 Days of Christmas - Day 7

Holiday Craft/DIY

I wish I had a holiday craft idea to share. But I don't. The biggest craft I will do this holiday season is put my Christmas tree up! ha! It's on my to do list!

12 Days of Christmas - Day 6

Gift Ideas

Well for Christmas this year I have asked for these pictures off our wedding registry at Crate and Barrel. I just love them and can't wait to put them in my kitchen!
I also asked for a few kitchen necessities that we didn't get for the wedding like potholders, cooking utensils, etc.

I definitely need some clothes, and I know I am getting some since I picked them out! And rainboots!

Overall, I asked for a lot of boring things haha! But I have been wanting a lot of it for weeks, even months. So it's good enough for me! And I'm lucky to be getting anything!