Something or someone you can't live without, because you've tried living without it...
I'm going to have to say my friends. Since I got married in June, I have barely spoken to any of them. I already wrote about my experience the week before Christmas at a wedding of two friends from high school. It was just awful. But I think a lot of the reason why it was so bad is that I have really missed my friends since I chose to stop talking to them. I am not going to say that I am depressed, but there are days that I cry about it a lot. And there are days that I get really jealous of them and all the things they are experiencing together. And there are days that I just want somebody to hang out with and something to do.
On Friday I got a text from one of those friends saying that she really missed me and wanted to hang out with me. I didn't reply. Then on Saturday while out with my mom I saw the girl's mom and sister, and then I saw her from across the room. I, of course, felt obligated to speak to her family. But then I felt really bad because I never replied to her text.
The truth is, I miss her too. But I'm just scared to go back to being friends. I'm scared that things won't be different. I'm scared to call and have my friends ask where I've been the last 7 months and what I've been up to and why haven't I answered their calls and texts.
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