Friday, September 23, 2011

Odd One Out

That would be me. Remember in the last post how I said I felt like I was not being as included as before? Well it's true. Now if it is due to the fact that I stood out from everyone because of religion, I'm not sure. That could be part of it. But I think what really makes me different is that I have a life outside of school. I'm not saying I'm super popular and have a hectic social life. That's definitely not it haha! I just have a lot of things going on other than school. I am working on occasion, helping out with my grandma, crafting, going to two other (non-respiratory) classes, maintaining the house, paying bills, Christmas shopping, running a million other errands, and the list goes on. Do other people in my class not have anything to do? It sure seems that way.

My classmates have all been going out to lunch together quite often, maybe even every day that we have class. They have been forming multiple study groups, if not having one big study session with everyone after each class and even on days we don't have class. The grandmother of one of the teachers passed away over the weekend and everyone in the class (except for me and one other girl) went to the funeral, which was an hour out of town.

I don't get invited to lunch. I have not been asked to join a study group. And the truth is, I am really okay with it. Yes, I feel slightly excluded. They post on facebook how much they love their class and how close they have gotten with everyone else. It bothers me to read that, because I know that I'm not included in that. I don't feel close to any of them, and I wouldn't say I love my class. Maybe things will change over time. I did get invited once to lunch, but I had to work. I did go to class early one day to study with someone, but they wanted to chit chat instead and nothing was accomplished. We all know that when you invite someone to do something and they say no a couple times, you just stop asking them. That's what has happened to me.

Today, class was pretty much done at 9:30 because we had finished reviewing for our test on Monday. The teacher wanted to start new material, but everyone else wanted to get in their study groups. We were taking a short break before all of that began. As everyone left the room, I quietly asked the teacher if I really had to stay for that. He asked, "You like to do your own thing and study alone don't you?" I nodded yes and he told me I did not have to stay. I was out of there in about one second! Maybe no one else in there understands, but at least the teacher does. I am the only person responsible for me making it through this program. Nobody else is going to get me the grades I need to graduate and get a job.

So for once, I'm happy to be the odd one out.

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