Monday, September 20, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 1

Something I hate about myself is my weight.

When I was about the age of 5, I couldn't even hold my pants up without suspenders because I was so skinny. I don't remember when the change occurred or how it happened. But I remember from the time I was about 8 years old, I have been pudgy. I went to a private school with a strict dress code. If we wanted to wear shorts, they had to be navy, khaki or black and no more than two inches above our knees. I wasn't a super tall kid, but I had longer legs. And on top of that I was pudgy, so I couldn't wear the shorts they sold in the girls' section. I had to buy the Duckhead brand in a husky size out of the little boys' section. To this day I hate wearing shorts! I have worn jeans for just about every summer that I can remember. And it's humid in North Carolina! But it never once bothered me because I was more embarrassed by me wearing shorts than me sweating in jeans.

I have tried to lose weight, sometimes successfully and others not quite so. But it's gotten out of hand and now I weigh more than I ever have in my entire life. I used to be fashionable, but now I just don't even care what I'm wearing as long as it covers up those areas I am not pleased with. I don't like going in public because I feel like people are looking at me and talking about me in a bad way. It's terrible. That's why I'm really trying to do something about it now! It's affecting me socially and mentally and I just can't deal with that much longer.

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